Today I woke up at 7:30 to Anna screaming at the top of her lungs in the bathroom with a pile of band-aids around her and Jamie saying he's sorry really quickly over and over. And then she wouldn't stop crying, even when I put her in bed with me and cuddled her and rubbed her head and told her I loved her. Instead, she kicked me and rolled over and cried and cried saying she didn't like mommy, mean mommy, and she didn't want me anymore and wanted daddy. And I laid there, pretending I was asleep, but really wide awake feeling bad feelings in my heart and really wanting to pick her up and wash her mouth out with soap and give her a huge spanking. So yeah, a healthy morning for all of us.
Then she finally calmed down and was starting to go back to sleep and Jamie had gone into his bed and was quiet too, and my mom called ring! ring! at 8:15 to tell me that James (my brother) was online in Brazil and they were chatting back and forth, so to get on there and talk to him too. So, of course, I get up and turn the computer on which takes like 300 years it is so slow and the children all woke up and ran around crazy asking me a million questions why I was doing it. And then, I got into the e-mail, and at that very second, James decided to log off. So I never got to talk to him and he didn't write me an e-mail either. So good thing I stayed up till midnight writing him and good thing I woke my whole household up to talk to him this morning. I don't even think he got the e-mail I sent him last night because he usually would respond and he never even made reference to it. So I don't know.
Then Jamie proceeded to throw a fit because he can't work his rubber band gun that Adam made him and Anna stood by my arm and whined my name while I read James' e-mail to my parents. I told her to go lay on her bed for a minute and look at a book and I would be right there. And she ran off crying into her room saying she doesn't like mommy. Great. Love it, love it, love it. Who would do this to themselves? On purpose?
1 comment:
OH Olivia how I needed to read your post. Did God tell you to write it for me? I was just talking to my mom last night telling her how all my friends are perfect moms and have perfect kids and how I was delt a bad hand! Motherhood is soo Rough is not even funny. I feel for you. Just know that all of us moms are in the same boat even if we act like we are in the perfect boat! By the way I too loved Jason Mraz before he was every anybody! Just love him and now everyone else does. Bummer I thought I was special!
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